Let's Have An Honesty Fight

My full name is Alisha Marie Perry. I'm twenty but will give a different age every time I am asked. I hate mushrooms. I have one best friend in this world. I fall for nerds. I like an up their on ass kind of guy, simply because they aren't and think they are. I hate the Twilight Saga, simply because true love seems to have teams now. I would disqualify them both. I love stand-up comedy. I love improv. I lie for no reason. I can not be left. When having a conversation I am most likely thinking about what an idiot you are. Though I pride myself on being sincere. I have a female crush on Victoria Beckham. I see the world a little differently. I have/have had a strange obsession with serial killers. For a loyal person I have a knack for keeping my options open. There is one man alive who loves me for everything I am, and I can not love him back. I still love the one who hurt me the most.I know when I'm being manipulative. And wont stop. I am a better person then I was before.

The Truth

I'm twenty years old and feel like I'm thirty two. I love blonde hair. I hate mushrooms. I feel like a bad friend fifty percent of the time. I have trouble with empathy. I am vain. I think that I am better then average. I think everyone is average. I never think about the guy that would have loved me forever. I miss the guy that broke my heart. I am jealous.

Ha. The Original-Let's Have an Honestly Fight.
Funny how we dress things up even for those we don't know.
This is the naked version.

Girl's Night Out

Girls night out is typically supposed to be group of women who decide it's time to let loose and I think that phrase implies that they don't do this often, that's obviously open to interpretation, but none the less what I personally get from the statement. However being a woman and experiencing these nights out first hand, think they deserve a more appropriate title such as... "Girls Who Are Bored and Single Looking For Free Drinks and a Regrettable Morning After Night" or maybe "Girls Who Are Over Their Current Relationship and Just Want To See What Else There Is Out There But Can Blame It On The Alcohol Night". These are just a couple of the ideas that pop into my head as I sit on my porch on a Saturday night. I am a single woman in a party town. These nights are exactly what I have described. I'm guilty of it as are we all, but the question of the hour is am I different or are we all lying to ourselves? Are you really happy with the person your with? If you are why do we insist on nights titled "Fuck Off I Want To Get Drunk Without You Around Night". I can not understand this. I am thinking about close friends and people I don't care about a like. I watch from a distance relationships that work and the ones that are obviously situations that stem from habit. There is no shame in those either. We are creatures of our environment, mom and dad, step dad and mom, whatever our circumstance growing up was we have been taught to co-habitat. But the problem in our generation is we are also taught that we are independent beings. Clearly this causes some conflict within ourselves. How does one co habitat independently? And as women this is even a double standard. Go out there and have fun find yourself. But do it without acting like a whore. Simple, I think not. Not that acting like a hooker is not easy avoided, but in efforts to find what your comfortable vs stocked about is tough using mom's rules. Especially having to watch men next to you doing the same thing and not being put on blast for it. Hence forth women are forced to use " girls night" as some sort of temporary experimentation trail and when things get out of hand we run back to our normal lives of over analogizing every word that is said to us by men and masturbating in the morning when he has left for work. Maybe I am alone in this fight of trying to figure out the woman I supposed to be
or maybe just maybe I am amongst women who are struggling to. Using these nights as target practice so to speak.
More and more frequently I am hearing women described as liars. This could very well be true. But who are we all lying to?

The Next Move

Stand Up last night was amazing. As a female comic this is not a common saying when describing your night on stage. It comes down to timing and tones. When to to be honest and how to go about saying it. I think people enjoyed last night because people can sense sincerity. We know when someone is lying to us, and we know when someone will let us lie to them. The thing now is what next? Do I continue on my path of part time comedy pursuit working a full time job that makes me want to swallow a knife. Or do I take a chance knowing the hard work that lies before me, knowing that someday the fruit of my labors will come. What is my next move? I am scared, but I'm not quite sure of what. Like taking the trash out at night hearing a strange noise that sends you bolting back into the house slamming the door and locking it behind. By the time you are in the house back against the door, your calling yourself a pussy under your breathe.

Let's Blog It Out

Let's start by talking about proper conversation etiquette. For instance if you happen to be chatting with someone and you say a name to them, any name a mutual friend, love interest etc. and they immediately repeat the name after you have just said it, I am going to pretty much grantee that 9 times out of 10 there will be a negative connotation to come after that name momentarily. Which if you don't already know this, let me tell you now, feelings of disappointment and foolishness are to come as well. This sucks for the convo partner that was just getting ready to tell you that a guy/gal that she/he had a couple drinks with last night after a previously super awkward hangout, had a surprisingly come to a break through about their seemingly potential relationship. So question of the hour, should you be "that guy" and repeat the name right after someone has said it to make sure that thy know at once what a douche they are dealing with? Or should you mind new conversational etiquette and not only give someone the benefit of the doubt, but also mind your own damn business. Because you know that you really don't give a shit about the name you just repeated, but you do feel important for having something derogatory about this person.
With that being said, my favorite quote of the day or maybe I should say my favorite para phase of the day..."Oh that guy....two words, Man Whore. Total waste of time. Think he has an STD. Been with at least 10 of my friends. And he is in love with this girl that is perfect. But good luck! I gotta go back in, but have a good day I'll see you in there."
This just happens to support my theory that life is about two things, timing and tones.

Aggressivly Mediocre

Today I watched a movie that may have restored my faith in humanity. This wasn't even close to an epic film either. It was a film about a pretty basic guy who is basically awesome. It was comparable to watching a movie about your best friend, by the end of it your cheering for him. You may being questioning your moral integrity, none the less you are still on his team. The movie was Extract and the reason it might have restored my faith in humanity because it has been one of the most honest movies I have seen in a long time. The plot and freak situations are a little far fetched, however the relatabilty factor is at all time high. This honesty train that this movie has you riding takes you for a tour that leaves you thinking after, am I wrong for wanting my boyfriend to cheat on me, only so I can cheat on him guilt-free with working-class looking fellows?

Am I not alone in this? Maybe even if I had a completely dysfunctional relationship with someone also took part in infidelity it could possibly work, only if he/she is totally awesome. More so the point of this entry is to allow people to accept that things don't always go according to plan and sometimes even good people can make shitty mistakes. This movie was like a breathe of fresh air in L.A. not pure but certainly fresh.

Boot Camp for the Mind

Started with a wonderful morning. Nothing says potential relationship like " Alright go ahead and let me take you body fat measurement and the hop up on the scale." As the number on the scale rose, I could feel the chances with the gorgeous personal trainer descending more and more rapidly. Say that I was in amazing shape, still nothing says confidence like a Beach Body Boot Camp right? False. Boot camp as it turns out is just letting the rest of the world become aware of the fact that you need to be better. Better at everything, physically and socially. So hence forth boot camp for the mind is when you have to decide to not only become better physically but also mentally. You must set your mind forth on the journey of being in "good-shape", so to speak. You need to be able to "trim the fat" and "tone muscle". For example, stop sleeping with you ex-boyfriend who cheated on you. Its like waking up in the middle of the night and eating half the chocolate your roommate made for her Mom's birthday. Stop being that asshole. Now obviously the number on the scale has nothing to do with the personal trainer liking you, who knows maybe he likes them a little on the husky side. But it does have to with you liking you, and this is where it turns out the mind boot camp must come before body. Everyone has been through the "misery diet" where you loose all those extra lbs, that you carried around for whatever reason that held them to you. But you loose them in the most hateful way that it feels like the first time you smile since you have been on the diet you instantly gain 5 pounds back. The idea of getting into peak physical shape has turned into the mind opening experince of figuring out why we give a shit in the first place. Its for others, period. "Nothing will get a women into better shape the divorce," this a quote from my father. I have found more truth in this then science. We have a motive, we all have a plan. The human mind is still more fascinating the actions that come from the fore thought. So for the next eight weeks I hope for my own sake that I can get "shredded" and see clear the motives that drive me. For my fellow boot campees the motives seem all to clear.