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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

100 Things Women Lie About

1.) Weight- Always add a minimum of 10 pounds to the estimated weight given.

2.) Location- If said to be on the freeway, the homestead has not been left.

3.) Number of Sexual Partners- Add 3-5 (depending on moral fiber of said women) 5-7.

4.) Hair Color- Lost Cause

5.) Cost of Things- Comes down to over-paid or clearance shopping.

6.) Bodily Functions- Come on...A woman will even lie to other woman about this.

9.) Smoking.

10.) Sports- Tough call, some do find entertainment value in sports. But majority without fail a google "fill in the blank" sports terminology phones trying to figure out what's going on.

11.) Accomplishments- This could be considered gender neutral, but what the hell.

12.) Feelings on a Matter of Importance- Resulting in a lie that understates or overstates how one truly feels.

13.) Jealously- At least for awhile anyway...the shit gets broken.

14.) What Was Worn The Night Before- Safe to say if you weren't invited probably won't be pleased. 

15.) Phone Number- Classic.

16.) Relationship Status- Depends on situation found in.

17.) Financial Situation- Always better or worse then stated. Usually worse.

18.) Dating Co-Workers Doesn't really matter. ( Exemption: bad previous experience, but even then it's still a little gamy.)

19.) Status of Being Over Someone- Just don't believe them. ( Helpful Hint: Check Facebook      History.)

20.) Seeing "The Ex" Everybody Hates.

21.) We tell ourselves what a good man you are.

22.) How often we stalk your ex-girlfriend.

23.) We care about everything, all the time.

24.) We hate the fact that female co-workers exist in your life.

25.) We can see you looking at the waitresses boobs.

26.) We know you watch porn and masturbate when we leave for work.

27.) We dress up for other women.

28.) We love getting hit on. Especially in front of our boyfriends.

29.) We will always smile no matter how long it has been, when something bad happens to an ex.

30.) The only time we go pee alone while out drinking is to vomit.

31.) We never want to here about your ex, ever. even if we ask.

32.) Checking your shit.

33.) How dependent we are on our partners.

34.) How much we can love someone...

35.) How strong we are.

36.)  How serious our relationship is to strangers.

37.) How often we defend the most hurtful people in our lives.

38.) How we feel entitlement to our best-friend's older brother. It's weird.

39.) How are all a little lesbian, at one point or another.

40.) How much we love Star Wars. Bain of my existence.

41.) Boob size. Oddly enough, its not like they are right in front you?

42.) How casual the relationship can be.

43.) How funny a situation was.

44.) Just how ruthless we are capable of being.

45.) What we do know, and try to get you to admit to first.

46.) Knowing your password.

47.) How much we like animals.

48.) How much we don't like animals.

49.) How much we have had to drink.

50.) How hott we think your boyfriend/husband is.

51.) How much money our parents give us.

52.) How much we like your friends

53.) Our college experience.

54.) How soon we want to get married.

55.) How much we hate your friends.

56.) Looking through your shit.

57.) How pissed we really are.

58.) Working out.

59.) Working out together. If I can't cry or poop in front of you. Why would you try to get me to do        both at the same time. Hmm?
60.) How often we masturbate.

61.) Just how important it is for our mental health, to lay in bed all day, and watch at least a season of
       House for one day every so often.
62.) How much it bothers us you watch porn. Even if we say we are cool with it. Here's something
        sometimes, we don't even know how much we hate it until you know, the blind rage is just as       much of a surprise to us as you...we all sad to see it go.
63.) Having the perfect gift. I literally have no fucking idea what to get you. Ever.

64.) How crazy we are, but we aren't, but we are, but we aren't.....

65.)  How we just aren't ready for a relationship right now. Please, bitches love flowers.

66.) How crazy our schedule is...if I can fit in 8 hours of SOA and working out, we need to reevaluate
       the relevance of you our lives. 
67.) That we aren't in our realtionship because it's comfortable.

68.) Masturbating! Oh sorry did I say that again?

69.) How late we are staying at our friends house drink wine. One bottle, two bottle.

70.) How much we fucking hate your cereal bowl you leave in the fucking sink every goddamn
      morning.