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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Question of The Hour.

      Some of us are about at the age now, I would say between 21 and 30, were we are start to understand what it is we really want. We have grown up and learned about the world, we have learned that its not fair and that not everyone will get a blue ribbon past the age of 16. We have learned about love and the fact that its not always easy, but having someone your corner though out this life is far better, then being forever alone and closed off. Not saying that being alone and happy isn't liberating in its own right, I truly believe the only way to be happy with someone is to first be happy with what you are bringing to the table to begin with.

    So the question of the hour is what do we do with all this knowledge we have acquired during these 25-30 years we have lived? I have been coming across these people in my life that are my peers, and they have no idea what the next step is. We look at social media for guidance these days, example"...Chelsey and I started dating our boyfriends at the exact same and now she is engaged and has an entire board full of boho wedding chic ideas, and I'm over just looking up funny memes, about how I'll try cure everything with coconut oil...".  Why in the fuck does it matter?????
     Our parents were forced into a social norm of getting married young(er) and having kids and fitting the good fight, with weed hidden in the garage or maybe some nasty drinking problems. But at least they were facing things head on. In this generation, things are being based off of what other people are perceiving of you. We cannot know what we want, when the only thing we are thinking about is how cool things are that other people have and all cool shit that they are doing.

   Even in our relationships we are constantly comparing ourselves with other people. Instead of using the knowledge that we have gained over the years of actually living. I guess my real question too is, when do we really know who we are and what we want? When does this ultimate knowing of the things that will make us truly happy in life, start to dictate our actions and thoughts. Verses the life of constant comparing and waiting for things to fall in our lap, because that worked out so well for so and so. When will we reach a point with other people, where we can look at them without fear or shame and tell them exactly what it is we expect and need from them to make us feel whole. The experiences we go through in life are all lessons for us to be able to extract tools from to build the future we truly want. Experiences, not fucking Facebook pictures of others peoples awesome lives, but real life experiences. So now knowing this, the question still stands, what do you want, what are your values and beliefs that build the foundation of who you are and when we will be able to make better choices based on what we already know from the past?

I know heavy shit, going up on a Tuesday?

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Let's Blog It Out. 2015.

This year has been the worst year of writing for me yet. Which is upsetting due to the fact that my passion in life is writing. Coupled with drinking coffee in bed until the late afternoon. I am a beacon of health my friends.

Lets jump right into it. I am a twenty five year old woman who loves mermaids, wine and luxury vacations. Who doesn't right! Well I also am not a millionaires sugar baby, I know, I know you are probably sad that I wont be posting obnoxiously grand photos of my perfect body, on a hidden beach somewhere wonderful in the world, boating on a yacht, drinking "de-tox" tea, and writing posts with the titles " 10 REASONS WHY HE THINKS YOUR IDIOT FOR BLAMING EVERY SHITTY THING YOU DO ON YOUR ZODIAC SIGN." But I feel like if you have any ounce of soul left in you, then we might be able to find some things in real life to relate on.

I have lately been thinking about my target demographic...which I suppose consists on the ladies and gents who are in there 20-30 somethings who are or are not spending their nights on Instagram or Pintrest staring at bodies they don't have or wedding venues they can't afford. Guys go though it too, they see boats, homes and careers they don't have and do equal amounts of self shaming. On the topic of self hatred ladies, I promise you waist training is NOT science. Look it up. However, to make sure we stay on the the same playing field I will ensure you, I have one and I fucking LOVE it. Yeah, I said it. It's awesome, I'm like a blonde hybrid of Kim K and Kate Upton, when I put that bitch on. Or at least that's what I think.

I also don't have much to say in the avenue of child bearing or up bringing. I have no opinion yet on the matters of, "To whip the tit out, or to not whip the tit out in public," the never ending debate that floods my social media accounts. And when the time comes for me, I am sure, I will understand that the struggle is indeed, oh so real.

I'm also a little to old to really understand the movement of taking a hundred pictures of myself on my cell phone and then looking up a quote that I believe matches the demeanor of my facial expressions, then finding that perfect filter that is just going to really let everyone know the real state of mind I'm in...or just convince my ex that I am having a fucking blast without them. Who knows?
I'm also in not quite in the place, where I can label pictures with things like, #squad, #bae or a number of the other things people label their group of friends that are "better then yours".

So I guess now what  I am looking for from my audience, is help for the first time. What does my generation what to read about? What do you want to talk about? I write about real things, that people think and feel, when they aren't only trying to focus on finding the WiFi password. For example, I woke up the other day at noon and immediately wrote in my journal in bold letters, "LIFE GOALS, WAKE UP WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO." You get what I am saying? Lets blog it out. I love all of you. Tell me things.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

A Letter For My Future

To My Child At 25,

You're just starting to figure it out. You're looking around at certain situations and people, and realizing you might be ready for something different. You're changing and growing. This is the time were you will witness the ones who will stay in what they know, stay comfortable and stay stagnent verses the ones who will split away from what they know, the parties they are always at, the people they always associate with to find a better way. A more exciting way, with passion and the thrill of the unknown. 

You will start beginning to truly understand people. You will understand what they are saying merrily by wether they can look in your eye or they way the dodge you glance or touch. You start to understand motives in people. Some will lift you up and inspire you to be better and some will always surprise you with the level of indifference toward their fellow man.

You will hurt people, you will make mistakes. People will hurt you, and they are allowed to make mistakes. The difference now is,the mistakes you make can impact you for longer then you would imagine. People are quicker to leave, and more then ever, you will see the injustice of actions. 

You will see just how cowardly some people can be, even yourself. As adult they call it the name of "saving face", if I have raised you well my dear, I hope this fraise never means anything to you. I hope in your coming of years you never feel shame for saying how you feel, though others find it in poor taste. 

Should you be able to waid curiously and safely though the years of exposure to drugs and alcohol, I hope that would have found the light and intimacy, these things have to offer. Now I trust you know more then ever, that mood enhances if you will, are merely a false imations of the time you are having. You at this point are starting to see the difference in people enhancing and depending. It's awaking and sad, but it's starting to set in.

More importantly don't be afraid to be afraid. Afraid of the unknown and taking risks. At this point my lovely, you have figured out by now, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. If you let fear dictact your actions you will truly fall by the wayside and get by. Now is the time to be forth coming and risky. Let's face it, though you try to party like Drake on spring break, you don't have shit to lose. So go and just keep going. You find it. 

Getting your shit together is both wonderful and a little sad at the same time. Closing the doors on people, things and situations you used to love being apart of is terrifying. Embrace the new though, remember how you felt looking at the 35 year old guy at college bar? Remember that feeling, it comes faster then you think. The new drug,is starting to wake up before noon on Saturday and the person your sleeping with hopefully means something to you. 

Just know too that you are loved and supported and everyone at the time is starting to look around as well, and the ones that are not, are maybe the ones you should be looking at. You have a few more years to really get things going, so figure it out. Drink some coffee, smoke a cigarette, then quit for good, because the shit sucks. Like really sucks, even if it super fun and social. It sucks. 

And remember, you're almost there.


Your Mother at 25