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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Stolen Lines. Part Two.

Its funny to me the subtle things that change your outlook on everything. One days pain is another days revelation. You go from wanting things to work out, to understanding why you never had a chance to begin with. You know what you want to say.

Fuck you. It's OK. I understand.

Things really do happen for a reason. They really do.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Stolen Lines.

There is the part where you are strong, the part where you are weak and then the part when you can't feel anything at all. You have a ended something important to you in your life and you are feeling the effects weigh down on you like soaking wet clothing. Nothing you can do to feel a little more comfortable you simply have to wait for the clothes to dry in the sun.

The urge you fight to fix is the most painful stomach knot in emotional existence. You know what you want to do.

Come back. Change your mind. Love me. Please.

Sadly enough, these words are to often spoken to a deaf back side of the person who is walking away. Was it out of fear? Was it out of kindness of my livelihood not to waste my time?
We will never truly know. And that is the part that hurts so bad.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Clicking Hard

Its starts as a spark. A unknown interest in someone for little or no reason at all. All you know is that you need more of them for whatever reason. You need to see them, hear them, feel them. You don't know them from Eve, but you DO know you want to. Animal instinct comes over you and you do everything in your power to do whatever it takes to make them a part of your small life. Its that connection, that euphoric feeling that has you waking up in the morning wondering what their day is like, and what kind of music they listen to.

What is this feeling?

Where does it come from?

It's passed physical attraction. Its passed the simple idea of common interests. Its a feeling that cannot not be duplicated or compared to anything else. Sometimes its there immediately other times it starts to grow. The pain of this feeling not being reciprocated is almost unbareble so we choose to not even think about that as a possibility up until the point of the trail itself.
It's wonderful. Is it all made up? Is this science? The chemicals in your body connecting with theirs therefore revealing a passage into there soul? Maybe, maybe not.

As people a little passed the point of adolescence we find that we don't want to be alone. We want love. we want to share our experiences with someone that we get along with, we "click" with. Usually we go about this looking for common goals and interests. Such as music and religious points of view. We seek out those we find attractive and have good "breeding" stock for the crude way of putting it. I can wrap my head around this idea, I really can. However what about that feeling. That feeling of no matter what this person looks like, believes in or strange circumstance they might be in, you have to have them. You want to know them, be apart of them. It might be naive, but this is what life with someone should be like. Those are the ones you should fight to love. The common interest of just wanting them and what they bring to the world. The more I live the more I think that we come into this world, broken. We want to be fixed. You want to fix someone else. Not out of pity, but love. We hold love on a pedestal. Making people jump through hoops to obtain it. But what if we gave it free without fear that we get it back. What is the worst thing that can happen? You have given someone love regardless. The selfish part of ourselves say that its unfair, but really it is just selfless. And that is the part we cant deal with. Giving without receiving.