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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sometimes...

... you just have to be yourself, even if that means your grandmother can't look you in the eyes anymore. Be proud of yourself, when you didn't do your best. Pretend you had an orgasm to feed someones ego. Bite your tongue, when you boss is talking to you about how important it is that you work on Christmas. Say I love you, when you both know you don't mean it. Rage quit a job, even though you have absolutely no money. Apologize, when you think you did nothing wrong. Say a static that you made up on the spot to prove a point. Lie to you boyfriend, about loving trash t.v..

And sometimes you have to tell yourself that you have got it all figured out. Even though you have no clue what is coming next or where your life is headed.

Rule of thumb. If you believe it, they will too.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Communication Is Key.

What sounds crazier... Telling someone rationally in a calm voice the things that are bothering you. Keeping clear, calm and collected thoughts and points, making it perfectly clear what you upset about. All the while seeing it in whomsoever eyes that have no fucking clue why you would be upset about such things. Or ...should you wait, let the anger out in one large spout of a emotional blowhole, where things you start talking about have been already long forgotten and the anger comes out of every orifice of your body that could have held it. Leaving you to clean up the emotional wreckage of what you can't fully explain at this point because you waited to long. You couldn't come up the courage at the time to say anything about what was bothering you at the time. And now it's that day, they didn't make the bed when you asked them to. It's a bed, but is it? Or are messy, discombobulated bed sheets the metaphor that has become your relationship? Comfortable and familiar, however disorderly and never put together.

I am going on assumption here when I say that the large majority of you might have said that the calm collected version of communication is were things are sure to succeed. However have you ever looked at someone and in a very serious and collected manner said " I hate the way you do _____." or how about, " Babe I don't think we have enough sex." and " Angel I want to throw you x-box out of the window."
No, when these subjects are brought up you are angry, hurt and at the point of a total meltdown. But I bet you have said " I fucking hate you and everything you do." and " Why don't go watch more porn, you asshole." And I bet you might have at one point actually thrown a x box out of a damn window.

Not speaking of my personal proudest moments, but I can honestly say that I have always felt more uncomfortable and "psycho" addressing the problem calming. I feel naggy and annoying. I hear myself saying things like, " you hurt my feelings" or "can't you just do this for me." And to be honest it makes me feel insecure and stupid. But when I am raging there is no second guessing myself, when I get to the point on dragging you computer into the street and backing my car over it. I feel a strange sense of justice and security that can't be broken down. There are severe consequences however for those who enjoy a good rage quit every now and again. Honesty is the key, but it is up to how you choose to get your point across. Either way the truth shall set you free...or put you in small claims court. But let them know what going on in that dome of yours or you are sure to lose out on one thing or the other.