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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Safe Sex

After the age of 20 it seems important to entertain the idea of "safe sex". The idea of wearing condoms and being honest with your partner about were your whereabouts have been before said person is a very nice and responsible idea. Protecting yourself physically is key.
However this is not what troubles me, the physicality of the act. We at this day in age can actually end a growing fetus inside the womb of a women if we so choose. We can take a small pill and live out the rest of our lives with little or no notice to the fact that we are carrying around a sexually transmitted disease. It's the idea that no matter how much control we have over the physical consequences of sex, we still can't master the seemingly simple balance of the emotional after effects of this action. This hurts me. Not even for myself, but for everyone else who thinks they either do have control over their emotional reactions or have just given up all together.
A good friend of mine and I were talking and discussing things about the idea of sleeping with someone new. She said, " I do not want sex to be my token." I completely understood, and for all to many of us sex is the golden ticket. Women find that if they give it away like the next gift with purchase they are going to be enjoying attention that however may be short lived is none the less able to be enjoyed. This is not protecting yourself, each time your body is given away, you are either letting a piece go or taking a piece of someone else. I'm no angel. This does not go with out saying that I myself have experienced my fair share of rodeos. But I long for the idea of the passion of waiting, to protect what is mine and mine only to give. It is still beautiful, making love is still just that. Share with your partner all the things you can not find in words. Men too. Stop tossing yourself out there. Let me get to know you, your likes, dislikes. Maybe we share a few. Sex will always be a option, the chance to meet someone who makes you feel alive again, far and few between.

Friday, November 5, 2010


When I started the new job he was nice enough. At first I did not notice him. The stress of a new job and trying to absorb new information is distracting of course from the attention of a new suitor. Winter was the name of the girl who was deemed my "trainer". I do not think it is possible to find a girl who hates her job quite as much a poor Winter. Every word that came out of her mouth sounded as if it took every ounce of energy she had in her body to push it through her lips. She had a soft voice and warm brown eyes, but substantially lacking in any personality. Making my training a very uneventful and wearing process. I have learned when people find themselves in these situations, they look for some source of entertainment.

His name was Matthew. His baby face was very inviting. The visits started very casually. A hello here, a few minute conversation over there. Nothing to serious. Before I knew what had happened, I knew his childhood stories and had small inside jokes going about. If a sick day was necessary it did not come without regret and a explication the next work day together. Zodiac signs and favorite colors become known. A friendship developed. Boys and girls only play nice for as long as humanly possible. Matthew would let his interests be known.

Matthew has a wife and small son.

The story ends.