I Miss You, Today.

It's been easy. Almost fun letting go of us. But not today. Today I miss you. Everything. Good and bad. The days have been good, busy, productive days. I have been working and going to school. I have seen friends that I haven't seen in years and doors have been opening up for me that I could have never imagined. But today I miss you and none of that matters. I have shown no weakness, no mourning to what was us. I have kept our secret. I have pushed forward, but I will look back some times to make the anguish last. Pain is all I have to remember you by. That makes me sad all day. I can still smell you sometimes if I close my eyes. I still remember the way your laugh sounds and the way your body felt next to mine. I miss you. And no one will ever know. Truthfully I haven't even cried. Not once. I try to think back if at some point if you were honest, if ever there was anything between us. But whats the point. Its helps that it was a secret, it really does. I might never have stopped loving you if the world knew. This way is best, just the way I like it. Alone. I have not felt this comfortable since the day before I met you. But today I miss you. I miss every ounce of your lying, deceitful body. You never know what a relationship meant to you until it has ended. However I am still waiting to see how I feel, permanently. I cant remember if we argued on where to eat, but it was always an interesting time. None the less, I miss you lover, today.