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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

So I've Got Scars Upon My Cheek...

I am disarray, demanding, cold, sarcastic, emotionally fucked and unstable. I find it shocking when someone can not tolerate me. Not just shocked but even offended that someone is incapable of sure coming to the emotionally abuse I would more then likely put them through. I have looked to faith and spritiual renforcements for answers, at times screaming God's name is repetition in hopes that some divine power will interven on the train wreck that I call my life. I have looked to the science of psychology expecting to much. I went into this thinking that concrete answers would help, but I can not comprehend a chemical imbalance in my cerebellum is the reason I can not accept rejection or abandonment in any form. Philosophy was a option. But I can not crawl that far up my own ass to be able to embrace the message these teachers are undoubtly trying to convey to the world. In the end I am uneducated and alone.

"He's a font of misplaced rage. Name your cliche: Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late-night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry, moments of levity actually cause him pain... give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts."

- Garland Green

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