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I'm not here to inspire doubt, only to provoke thought.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

You can't have the truth without those lies...

When you are lied to, you find out who you really are. It's really that simple, its that cookie cutter. Debated, this is assuming that you have found out you have been lied to repeatedly by someone. You learn how strong or sadly in most cases how weak you are. You learn what people can get away, how you can be played and how you can be manipulated by people that obviously understand your vulnerable areas. Mental attacks are a bitch. There is no seeing them coming and even if you do have a idea that they are coming you can never tell in which direction this is actually going to come at you in. And in the best (however) rarest case you actually prove stronger then you or your "opponent" thought. Good for you, you are a bigger person then I.

There seems to be lessons that are learned and burning hate and motivation that I can feed off of for the next 6-8 months of my life. I need that. It's a strange realization. So maybe the joke wasn't on me, maybe I am not the village idiot. I like the bitterness. I enjoy the hurt, please show me you don't care, let me feel it like hot iron pressed up against my cool flesh. I want to submerge my self in the heartache, everywhere I turn I want it to be there, reminding me of the unforgettable lesson of betrayal that people can teach one another. Am I your pupil or your victim? Well I guess that is all in perspective. The only worry I have is that I might not learn the lesson, I may not find the truth. Because I love the lie, I don't know how to be alive without the pain.

The common rules amongst men these days is keep your business to yourself. Watch your fellow man fall to the avid world, and do nothing. Turns out we are only victim to the rules we live by. I decide when to stop or keep going. So I guess the people around will watch me fall, and I will give the same courtesy? No. I won't. The common rule can go fuck itself. I will walk amongst the gladiators of men. "Victory favors those who pay in pain." So let it happen. If I am left alone in my arena then let it be. But I no longer belong to the common rules, I no longer belong to you. Your weak. But not all can be strong. Through you timorous lies, I have seen the only truth you have to offer. I'm not impressed.

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